I was sitting in a dimmed-light auditorium yesterday. There were a lot of people inside, all of them were buzzing around. I feel pressured. I can feel the intense heat between me and them though I don't know them personally. There's a thing that ignites the anxiety in me and I was not sure what it is.
Maybe it's the thought of having the same interests with them. Maybe I feel tensed because I know there's a lot of people inside that same auditorium that are better than I. Maybe because I'm just envious because most of them know what they want to do in the future already. Well, not that I don't know what I want to do. I was not just sure of what I will do in the future that will make me happy. Then, someone said keep doing everything until you find that certain thing that makes you happy.
It seems to help me. No, it really helps me. From the beginning, I was trying to do everything. I was trying to excel in every thing I do.
But it leads me to a fall down. I failed. Not just once but many times. I thought of giving up because I can't handle the pain and failures anymore. It's like, things were crashing my pride. My future. My dreams. My life. I realized, I can't do everything. I almost gave up.
But I didn't. I realized, there's a lot of ways to go. That if I give up, I wouldn't reach where I am now. I have come this far to give it all up. I learned to accept failures. Well, I have to because in that way, I can fully accept myself, too. I suffered but I grew stronger.
I must say, the person who said to keep doing everything is right. We should not stop just because we failed. We should not stop just because we think it's not meant for us. We should strive hard to get what we really want to do because eventually, we will grasp it in our hands if we don't stop.